There comes a time in your life when your level of play on the field starts to dwindle down, fortunately for me, my time has NOT come yet. Admit it, you thought I was going to say I’m getting old. After my Sunday afternoon on the football field, I felt renewed and fresh. Granted, today I feel like I got hit by a semi and I grunt every time I have to get up and walk, but on Sunday, I felt great! In fact, it was the first time since I tore my ACL that I played without my ACL designed knee brace. I still used a knee brace, but I felt free from that load of metal that used to grace my knee. And I had zero limitations on the field because of my knee. So all is well on my physical health… Let’s get down to the actual gameplay. This is going to be rough.
I got a call late last week at work to see if I would be
interested in playing flag football since I signed up as a free agent. I said I was, so the guy told me a coach was
looking for a player and he would give him my contact information. I got a text later that evening about
playing. I could tell just from his text
that he was going to be an interesting character. When you ask someone their name and they
respond, “They call me JD,” you know you’re going to have your hands full with
this fella.
He wanted to practice on Saturday morning, so I was
game. Unfortunately, it rained, so he
re-scheduled for Saturday night. I drove
to Overland Park to practice. Which
consisted of us throwing the ball around and playing 2 on 2. Now, I’m not one that likes to toot my own
horn, but I was without a doubt the most athletic one on the field. We played 2 on 2 and I volunteer to take the
little guy on my team (he was probably like 16, 5’7”, a buck thirty as most,
and rather uncoordinated. I ended up
having 5 interceptions from our “quarterback” JD. While on offense I kept telling my teammate
to just throw it up and I’ll catch it. Which
worked. Pathetic, but that’s how brutal
our team was. I’m only 5’11”, so for me
to just go up and get it with no problem speaks volumes to the caliber of
players I possess on my newly acquired flag football team. Granted, it was muddy since it rained that
morning, so there were a lot of errant throws… or so I thought that was the
reason.
Then came Sunday, the games. First of all, this JD character tells me that
our game is at 3:30. Nope, we don’t play
until 4:30. Awesome. Kristin appreciates that. We could have spent another hour finishing
the Chiefs game… err, watching Pretty Little Liars? Anyway, Kristin is a trooper through all
this. The good news is she got some sun
(this albino family needed it) and there were a TON of people there so she got
to do one of her favorite things… people watch!
But, I wanted to give Kristin a shoutout for putting up with all of JD’s
shenanigans and not complain once about being there for over 3 hours and
watching me play ball (with the worst team in the league). So thanks, love!
So our first game is delayed because JD can’t find a set
of flags that fit around him. This JD character sits a staggering 5’8” and
carries over 260 plus pounds with him. There’s
a lot of people who talk a big game… we ALL know people like that. And usually, they fail to impress. But this guy… this guy is without question
the worst I’ve ever dealt with. He talks SO much game and I have never seen
anyone under perform up to their own standards and then talk about how amazing
they played… seriously…. MIND BLOWN!
There aren’t words… None. So we
spend 10 minutes trying to find flags that fit and we end up having him tuck
the two ends into his shorts.
We are on offense first.
First drive, pick 6.
Awesome. We’re down 7-0. Great start to the game. Next possession, they finally throw me the
ball and we move down the field. JD
actually let Dakota throw the ball and he could get me the ball. Though they were always behind me… I had a
one handed catch and a diving catch, so I expected to be on SportsCenter later
that night. It never happened. Turns out, if you’re on a team as bad as mine,
they don’t show highlights. The team we
were playing actually took it easy on us.
When an opposing team starts encouraging your teammates, that’s NEVER a
good sign. We only lost by 2 TDs and it
could have been times that. I think the
final was 31-18.
The second game wasn’t even worth it. These guys were straight up legit. We had 4 total players. They had 4 players for offense and 4 players
for defense. Their QB had a wristband
with plays and they ran all their trick plays on us (we’re an easy practice
target)… with success. Why? Well, let me tell you a little bit about our
defense. First off, JD makes all the
decisions. He told us at practice, “You
guys can give your opinions and suggestions, but I’m the coach so we’re going
to do what I say, know what I’m sayin’?” (If you’ve seen the movie “We’re The
Miller’s” and you know that kid that always says, “know what I’m sayin’?” after
nearly every sentence, JD does the exact same thing.)
So, JD wants to play safety on defense. The SLOWEST guy on our team, decides to play
safety… makes sense right? On top of
that, he chooses to not only play safety, but literally plays on our goal line…
he’s FIFTY FIVE yards off the ball. And what do teams do? They run a crossing route that beats the man
coverage and they have nothing but green in front of them because there is
NEVER safety help. He can’t even prevent
a TD. So we’re handicapped on defense
playing 3 on 4. He is NO help… but you
don’t question him, or you’re off the team.
His words. Cool coach/leader,
huh? We lost our second game, 43-0. It was called before the end of the
game. I did have an interception and a
nice little one handed grab, but we got smoked.
After the game, a guy said to me, “Just keep doing what you’re doing,
you’ll start clicking.” I respond, “You
know, I think that might actually be our problem, we need to make some changes.” A few laughs ensued, but I was straight
serious. Changes or every game will be
that bad.
JD texted me today and wants to practice tomorrow at
6:30pm. Really? You expect me to take a night away from my
week to practice with you when you won’t even take a suggestion or do what’s
best for the team and put someone at safety who knows how to actually play the
position… or play a zone? You spend half your time speaking volumes about your
talent and how we need to step up. You
tell me to stop juking and just run straight when juking is what got us one of
our only couple touchdowns? Yeah, I’ll show up on game day and work my ass
off. And you best believe I will speak
my mind about the defense and how the offense is ran. Someone needs to take charge who knows what they’re
talking about. If you want to kick me
from the team, please, be my guest… I’m sure you have players in line waiting
to play with a superior talent like yourself.
No really, he says that this is the case, that “we’re lucky to be on his
team because he has a ton of players looking to play on his team.”
I like Dakota… he’s decently athletic and knows the game
and agrees with the changes we need to make.
I hope next week we can convince JD that changes need to be made.
This basically turned into a rant, but I’m sure the
majority of you who actually got through this wouldn’t even play next
week. I honestly enjoy playing and getting
the great cardio… so despite the embarrassment of a team I’m a part of, I’m always
committed to continue to do me and playing hard and showing top tier
sportsmanship that I have always prided myself on for years.
Lastly, if you’re in KC or have a boyfriend or know of
someone who would like to look into forming any sort of rec team for any sport,
I would love to be a part of it. I’m
looking for different activities, though basketball and flag football will be
my go to sports. I just love being
active. So I’m sorry for all the
negative comments (though they were only aimed on one individual who makes it
very hard to respect through his comments and attitude), but thanks for
listening.
-Mr.
Deal
